missing my boy

I am sitting here looking through photos of Jarren and I just can not believe that he has lost his battle with cancer and went home to be with our Lord. so many thoughts run through my head every day and not one of them every has my by in heaven before me I know it doesn't make sense but neither does this world we have put in. so many of us go about living our lives without a thought to anyone else outside of the ones we see and we never would imagine that any of our children would every get cancer that is just not something kids should get... Now here I sit with a huge hole in the center of my chest and my first born son, the one i have had a name for for close to 15 years, and the one i will never get to watch play ball of March in the band because of CANCER. why? why do kids get cancer? why did my boy get cancer? what purpose does it serve? I still see people going about their own lives like no body else is in the world but them! how do we change that or are we to selfish to change? why can't we care and love without needing something in return? why cant we just love like Jesus and not have a political statement behind it? why cant we stop being so greedy and selfish?

TEDxAustin Robyn O'Brien 2011